"Hello Dadu!" As the voice of the bus conductor pierced through the consciousness of pleasant contemplation on the merits of Bengali sweets, Mr. A was rudely awakened to the notions of "relation" and "respect". An American Bengali and our family friend, Mr. A or as we call him A-Dada was on an extended tour of Kolkata.
We Bengalis love the notion of “relation” and respect. A senior couple is addressed as Dada/ Boudi or Dada/Didi by a younger couple. We grew up addressing the contemporaries of our parents as Kaku/ Kakima, Mesho/ Mashi, their younger friends as Dada/Didi, elder kids were often addressed as Dada/Didi. In modern Bengal these terms though still in existence may be slowly eroding.
Some Favorite Bengali Words:
Dada: elder brother
Didi: elder sister
Boudi: wife of elder brother
Kaku/ mesho: uncle
Kakima/ mashi: aunt
Meshomoshai: uncle - grandfatherly person!!!!!
Mashima: aunt - grandmotherly etc!!!!!
……. And their meaning in the US:
(you are older than me; I am frozen in time.)
In the US we have given a different slant to the traditional Bengali terms. Usually people get offended by the Dada-Didi tag except the ones who are fearless about their age.
If you are 50+ or approaching the age, own up to it buddy, it’s no big deal. I mean, though nobody says it, people know your age. How long can you stall the journey?
I am 39, I know sometimes it hurts to be 39; but when I see my children growing up, I look forward to the coming years. You could say I am at peace without the botox or collagen extras!! But I feel a twinge of irritation when young adults in their late 20s or 30s call me mashi, or my husband mesho. Hey! When did I adopt you guys? – my eldest is just twelve! Besides, I call your mom who is approaching or has passed half a century of glorious life on planet earth, either by her name or didi. So for us, a simple Dada/ Didi will do.
My parents often visit me from India. My dad is seventy two and my mom sixty-two. Where, a polite Mr. X/ Mrs. X would have sufficed, Bengalis in their late forties, fifties and sixties call them mashima/ meshomoshai. Can you honestly walk up to a senior American couple and call them uncle/ aunt? And this is done to the visitors from India only. But you cannot call a sixty or seventy year old American Bengali meshomoshai or mashima. Age stopped for the Bengalis when they came to the US.
Bus conductors and shopkeepers and the common Bengali in India have the bad habit of affectionately calling someone on the wrong side of fifty as dadu /dida or mashima/ meshomoshai. And Mr. A was addressed as "Dadu" by a bus conductor on his recent trip to India.
My friend Pam has solved the problem. She addresses all by name, even the eighty year old Mrs. Sen.... "Hey Sheila what's up?", like we used to do at school, call everyone by name.
Anyway, silly bickering. I love the notions of "relation" and respect, and am about to attend the wedding of my 35 year old adopted niece. So what if she calls me mashi, love and affection are all that matters! But please do tell your son or daughter not to call us Jethu/ Jethima.
Jethu: Dad's elder brother
Jethima: Dad's elder brother's wife
We Bengalis love the notion of “relation” and respect. A senior couple is addressed as Dada/ Boudi or Dada/Didi by a younger couple. We grew up addressing the contemporaries of our parents as Kaku/ Kakima, Mesho/ Mashi, their younger friends as Dada/Didi, elder kids were often addressed as Dada/Didi. In modern Bengal these terms though still in existence may be slowly eroding.
Some Favorite Bengali Words:
Dada: elder brother
Didi: elder sister
Boudi: wife of elder brother
Kaku/ mesho: uncle
Kakima/ mashi: aunt
Meshomoshai: uncle - grandfatherly person!!!!!
Mashima: aunt - grandmotherly etc!!!!!
……. And their meaning in the US:
(you are older than me; I am frozen in time.)
In the US we have given a different slant to the traditional Bengali terms. Usually people get offended by the Dada-Didi tag except the ones who are fearless about their age.
If you are 50+ or approaching the age, own up to it buddy, it’s no big deal. I mean, though nobody says it, people know your age. How long can you stall the journey?
I am 39, I know sometimes it hurts to be 39; but when I see my children growing up, I look forward to the coming years. You could say I am at peace without the botox or collagen extras!! But I feel a twinge of irritation when young adults in their late 20s or 30s call me mashi, or my husband mesho. Hey! When did I adopt you guys? – my eldest is just twelve! Besides, I call your mom who is approaching or has passed half a century of glorious life on planet earth, either by her name or didi. So for us, a simple Dada/ Didi will do.
My parents often visit me from India. My dad is seventy two and my mom sixty-two. Where, a polite Mr. X/ Mrs. X would have sufficed, Bengalis in their late forties, fifties and sixties call them mashima/ meshomoshai. Can you honestly walk up to a senior American couple and call them uncle/ aunt? And this is done to the visitors from India only. But you cannot call a sixty or seventy year old American Bengali meshomoshai or mashima. Age stopped for the Bengalis when they came to the US.
Bus conductors and shopkeepers and the common Bengali in India have the bad habit of affectionately calling someone on the wrong side of fifty as dadu /dida or mashima/ meshomoshai. And Mr. A was addressed as "Dadu" by a bus conductor on his recent trip to India.
My friend Pam has solved the problem. She addresses all by name, even the eighty year old Mrs. Sen.... "Hey Sheila what's up?", like we used to do at school, call everyone by name.
Anyway, silly bickering. I love the notions of "relation" and respect, and am about to attend the wedding of my 35 year old adopted niece. So what if she calls me mashi, love and affection are all that matters! But please do tell your son or daughter not to call us Jethu/ Jethima.
Jethu: Dad's elder brother
Jethima: Dad's elder brother's wife
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