Wednesday, February 15, 2012

It's freezing outside, for me at least.  Winter in this part of the world has started giving me the blues(although this year it was pretty mild), increasingly so. How I miss those scalding summers of youth.


The best part of the day is brewing the pot of tea in our warm and cozy kitchen in the evening. Mix of the Darjeeling blend and English Breakfast. The day's work being done, I can now enjoy the company of the kids and the pups. My daughters tease me about the way I hug the teacup, the warmth seeping through my palms, as we speak of a hundred things.


Today I shared with them "Those were the days" by Mary Hopkin, and they loved the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ulI-T0YxAw
Miss you college and school days:(

Friday, January 20, 2012

Trivial Reminiscences: Grandma Beauty & the SUV

Grandma Beauty was not really what one would call a traditional beauty, but her name has stuck with her even in her hallowed eighty-fourth year. The fairest of seven siblings, she happens to be the youngest of my mother’s four aunts and two uncles. My grandma was Bina, and then came Bela, Chini (sugar), Choto (or the youngster), Kutti (the little one) and Beauty. Why the brothers were called by their formal names of Shyamal and Amal has always been a mystery to me.

Born in an affluent family when the British ruled India, she married a handsome officer in the merchant navy in her late teens and moved into a rented three-storied house in an upscale neighborhood in Kolkata. She shared her home with Grandma Choto and her husband, Choto living on the third floor while Grandma Beauty had her household spread on the first and second floors. Both couples were very much in love, and though they did not have any children, grandma Beauty had enough nieces and nephews to keep her busy. However what she enjoyed was keeping track of all the happenings in her family and extended family, and narrating them with a relish. Each piece of news was chosen with care and bestowed on carefully selected recipients, some of whom referred to her as a nasty gossip.

A nephew’s success was narrated with pride to another who was not so fortunate, or a niece’s mansion was described in detail to someone who lived in a tiny rented apartment. A distant relative’s academic achievement was endured by a college dropout and her parents. But the same grandson after a nasty divorce had to patiently listen to the accounts of other happy marriages.

Perhaps she never had any intention of hurting anyone, and some of us still give her the benefit of doubt. This curiosity about other people and their affairs came naturally to her. As children, we loved to visit her stately home for it was filled with curios and period pieces which grandpa had collected from different parts of the world during his employment with the merchant navy. We would gently touch a porcelain doll, or gaze in wonder at a carousal, oblivious to the fact that our parents were eager to leave. She smiled animatedly while telling my dad about a cousin whose husband had bought an expensive car. This scored a sore point with my dad as he took a joyous pride in his used (second hand) fiat, and he found it hard to forgive grandma Beauty for years to come. Our visits to her house lessened, with my mother dropping by on rare occasions to check on her welfare.

A decade back grandma Beauty lost her husband of sixty years, and my mother who has always been attached to her aunts, resumed her visits. Financially, grandma Beauty and Grandma Choto were not doing too well, and my mom and some of the cousins chipped in to help their aunts. The landlord had sold the house the sisters lived in and the new owners were threatening to evict them.

But grandma Beauty was unfazed by the turn of events, and maybe, to fill the void created by the passing away of her husband, seemed even more interested in our lives. And somehow this kept our extended family connected! Being concerned with our own affairs is a malaise of the modern world. Where her gossip had been intolerable in the eighties and nineties, in the current decade her home was the place for hot gossip. She enjoyed the company of her visitors and welcomed all with steaming cups of tea; for a bad knee forced her to spend most of her days indoors.

Few months back, my parents decided to take grandma Beauty and grandma Choto to a nearby temple. By then dad had sold off his used car and had rented a nice air-conditioned SUV for the trip. When they arrived at grandma Beauty’s house in the morning, the sisters were all ready and waiting. Maa gently settled grandma Beauty and grandma Choto in the car, tucking them in with shawls. Grandma beauty asked dad if the car was air-conditioned and with a tiny smile he replied that it was. She turned to her sister and remarked that the air felt cool and nice.

Somehow she did not say much after that. She ate the offerings at the temple with relish, asked for seconds, appreciating the calm serenity of the surroundings. Throughout the ride back she gazed at her familiar Kolkata, perhaps mulling on the unfamiliarity of it all.

.....And that day onwards, dad has been a clear winner among all the relatives:)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The New London

An email from my husband's inbox, dated Sept 28th 2010:

Hi R,

Kolkata is bracing for Durga Puja. In Delhi the shit and snakes have been cleared and now everything looks fine for the Commonwealth Games. We Indians are the world's best "manage masters".

Mamta-di is in Darjeeling, promising to turn it into Switzerland of India. Since Kolkata will be London and Darjeeling soon to be Switzerland, we Indians will have no need to go abroad. Just take the train, and if the tracks are not blown up by Maoists, you will make it to the vacation hotspots. She is flagging off a new train every week.

Cheers!

A. Mukh.

(Also shared in my Facebook Notes)

Friday, May 28, 2010

Lets have some raunak shaunak/ Lets have some party time


The Bengalis are all for addas and parties - at least our group is. Fridays, saturdays, sometimes sundays. Often pot-luck, or if someone hosts, even better. No cooking for the day. A heavy brunch latish morning, some in-between snack, some unashamed starvation till we arrive at the scene of the party.

We do have our low key comfy gatherings but dancing happens often. The kids leave us to the gyrations and hang out with their groups. Some of them are a tiny bit embarrassed by the mix of indian+western+salsa moves of the adults. But what the heck -

"Lets have some raunak shaunak
Lets have some party now
Lets have some rolla rappa
Lets have some dhol dhamaka
Lets call the dholi now
Lets have some addi tappa......

...... yeh life ki gist
[ And we twist we twist
We twist, we twist.....]

We'll be singing dancing hot romancing
Masti all the time
Any season need no reason
For some place n feeling fine
Here's the party everybody
Move your body
Shake shake......"

But what about meditating on your KARMA in solitude during weekends....or just getting a hang of your inner yang/ yin...

For a while sundays have been just family time for us, and movies with the kids on fridays, and some family tennis and hiking on sunday mornings. But come saturday nights and we start missing the friends and some ......

.....raunak shaunak....some party time...

The week comes in full circle:)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

FUNERAL PARLOR OR HOME - SAGA OF THE "BODY"

Our friend's mother is visiting him from his hometown in a progressive village in India. She radiates a natural affection for others that I have seen in my parents and grandparents while growing up, and reminds me of the bygone simple ways of life.

In one of our parties, a group had gathered around a table talking to this lady. The conversation ranged from local Indian politics to how she was enjoying her stay, and if she wanted to move to the States permanently. To which the lady replied in her lilting accent, that she would love to move in with her eldest son sometime in the future, and ultimately be blessed with the good fortune of passing away at his home, surrounded by grandchildren, specially the eldest grandson, and friendly neighbors. (Dying at a son's home is still a privilage in India, and the mortal remains are first brought home before being taken to the funeral home for cremation.)

Her audience of elderly ladies had the option of keeping quiet, agreeing with her, or moving on to some other discussion. But all at once, they started whispering about how the "body" is not brought home in the States. And there was a detailed description of the "body" being left and treated at the funeral parlor.

When will we learn that sometimes silence is golden?